We had just finished yet another discussion about who should be doing what and when they should be doing it, and all of us - my husband, our three daughters, at that time 5, 10 and 11 years old, and myself - were irritated and frustrated. When I get into that space, I journal. It helps me find solutions, and in this case I created something that really worked. I will provide downloads of the actual Excel charts in the toolbox, but here's essentially how it works.
I made a list of what needed to be done in each room on a daily, weekly and monthly basis, and put a little note next to each item with the approximate time it would take to complete each item. For example:
FAMILY ROOM:
Daily
- Pick up basic clutter & return to the correct room- 3 min
Weekly
- Dust shelves, end tables, clean front of TV with Windex - 5 min
Monthly
- Wash windows & screens - 20 min
I did this for each room, making sure the times were set to how long it would take my children to complete the item, not how long it would take me to do so.
Next I set up a calendar that listed who did what, when. We found, after some experimentation, that it was best to keep one person responsible for cleaning one room for the entire week. This way there was no argument about it not being "really clean" and one person doing more than another. Rooms were assigned on a rotating basis; in the spirit of fairness my husband and I were also each assigned a room, and assisted our youngest with her assigned space. Bedrooms were not included, each person was responsible for their own bedroom space, and dishes were assigned on a rotating basis as well, separate from kitchen clean up.
Each item was given a monetary value, and at the end of the week chore money was paid out. The kids had an opportunity to earn more funds by doing laundry or doing "extras" that weren't assigned but were helpful. Some people disagree with paying children for chores, but we felt that not only were they learning to be responsible for cleaning, but also figuring out how to deal with money. They used their earnings to buy little things they wanted and sometimes saved up for bigger items.
They were not paid for cleaning their own rooms, or for taking their turn cooking, which I will discuss in a later post. But they did have to clean their own room in order to receive the money for doing their other chores. We had incredible success with this method! Each of the girls had a folder with the breakdown of what needed to be done in each room, our youngest had photos alongside the writing. While this sounds like it may be too detailed for young children, the reason it DID work was because they knew what the expectations were. They had a clear picture of what we wanted in order for the room to be considered clean, plus it was fun for them to have a "Work Book".
As long as they did their best (not my husband's or my best) on cleaning a room, they were given praise and their earnings. It took approximately 15 minutes per day on weekdays, plus one day of dishes at about 1/2 hour and about an hour on Saturday. They were not overwhelmed with chores, but learned to do necessary things. For the first few weeks it took me longer to walk them through it then it would have to just do it myself. I resisted taking over. You'll find that this is a theme with me. Delegate, instruct, empower.
When each of our two oldest daughters left for college they were perfectly capable of doing their own laundry, cleaning, cooking and managing money; our youngest will be ready as well. And in the end, isn't a big part of our job as parents to help them learn how to be capable and confident before letting them loose in the world?
Please feel free to use my Excel charts, and let me know how it goes for you! If you need help setting a system up, or standing firm and not backing down, don't hesitate to contact me!
Next I set up a calendar that listed who did what, when. We found, after some experimentation, that it was best to keep one person responsible for cleaning one room for the entire week. This way there was no argument about it not being "really clean" and one person doing more than another. Rooms were assigned on a rotating basis; in the spirit of fairness my husband and I were also each assigned a room, and assisted our youngest with her assigned space. Bedrooms were not included, each person was responsible for their own bedroom space, and dishes were assigned on a rotating basis as well, separate from kitchen clean up.
Each item was given a monetary value, and at the end of the week chore money was paid out. The kids had an opportunity to earn more funds by doing laundry or doing "extras" that weren't assigned but were helpful. Some people disagree with paying children for chores, but we felt that not only were they learning to be responsible for cleaning, but also figuring out how to deal with money. They used their earnings to buy little things they wanted and sometimes saved up for bigger items.
They were not paid for cleaning their own rooms, or for taking their turn cooking, which I will discuss in a later post. But they did have to clean their own room in order to receive the money for doing their other chores. We had incredible success with this method! Each of the girls had a folder with the breakdown of what needed to be done in each room, our youngest had photos alongside the writing. While this sounds like it may be too detailed for young children, the reason it DID work was because they knew what the expectations were. They had a clear picture of what we wanted in order for the room to be considered clean, plus it was fun for them to have a "Work Book".
As long as they did their best (not my husband's or my best) on cleaning a room, they were given praise and their earnings. It took approximately 15 minutes per day on weekdays, plus one day of dishes at about 1/2 hour and about an hour on Saturday. They were not overwhelmed with chores, but learned to do necessary things. For the first few weeks it took me longer to walk them through it then it would have to just do it myself. I resisted taking over. You'll find that this is a theme with me. Delegate, instruct, empower.
When each of our two oldest daughters left for college they were perfectly capable of doing their own laundry, cleaning, cooking and managing money; our youngest will be ready as well. And in the end, isn't a big part of our job as parents to help them learn how to be capable and confident before letting them loose in the world?
Please feel free to use my Excel charts, and let me know how it goes for you! If you need help setting a system up, or standing firm and not backing down, don't hesitate to contact me!
No comments:
Post a Comment